1martini8kiss7

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 20:16:52 GMT

I SWEAR I DIDN'T DIE!!!!!!!!!!
I've had so many problems since christmas, you have no idea.
A friend died in a car accident.
My mom went to jail for a few days.
I've been more alone now than I have ever been before.
I found out that my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend(the one he cheated on me with) are moving in togheter...that should not bother me but it does.
I lost a friend to a drug addiction.
And this month is hell.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 00:00:46 GMT

I know i've been like crazy gone for along time
I wasjust curious...where are you allf rom?

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 01:05:25 GMT

Okay. Sooo we are trapped at home because of all the snow.
I took two pictures an hour ago...my step dad's jeep is like almost covered...its insane.
Check them out...
oh and its about two feet so far and its still snowing like a motherfucker
oh andddd brent and i broke up today :(

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 18:15:24 GMT

So I took my trig final yesterday...I thought I failed but I passed with a 61% and passed the class with a 63% go me!

today I was supposed to take four more finals....BUT
its snowing so bad. school's closed. every school pretty much.
I can't even get my car out of the driveway....
its a blizzard. and it sucks. i hate snow.

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 01:31:17 GMT

finals through wednesday.
no livejournal through weds.
talk to you all then.
wish me luckkkkkk

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 18:54:21 GMT

Okay so I have a long story to tell...
On Thursday night at about 2 am I get this phone call from my friend Nicole. She told me that our really really good friends Alex and Jessica had just gotten in a really bad car accident. She had no details, so we hung up and I didn't know who to call or what to do. I woke up my brother because him and Alex are good friends too. He tried calling everyone and no one would answer.
I went to school yesterday and there were all these rumors going around about what actually happened. These rumors pissed me off ecspecially the one that went like, "the reason they got in the car accident is because jessica was sucking his dick and he lost control." i'm like grow up people!
Anyways....I heard all these different stories like he got his leg amputated and all this other shit.
I texted him just to see if he would text me back and he didn't, but he called me like 20 mins later. He is at the hospital...so this is what happened.
He was drunk and high and so was Jessica, and he was driving her car. And he was driving and this car was on the wrong side of the road so he swurved (mind you he was going 70 mph) and he ran through a fence. Jessica broke her arm....and thats it. A fence post went through his radiator and engine block and hit him straight in the knee and then bounced and took all the skin off from his knee to right to his hip bone. he said that he looked down and all he could see was bone and muscle and blood. he said, "it sucks, i have absolutely no skin from my knee to my fucking balls...what girl is gonna wanna fuck me now? haha just joking. " but yeah, so we all went to the hospital yesterday to see him and everything...
It is a hard situation for me because I'm sad for him. I'm sad because he'll be hospitilaized for 2 weeks, getting skin grafts and them stretching his skin out so that he has skin on his legs. I feel so bad for him. But then again, I don't. I hate when people drive drunk....it is the dumbest thing to me. It pissed me off so bad.
I'm just thankful they are alive.
He's going to get a good beating from me when he can walk...jk.
I just told him yesterday that I hope he changes his outlook on life....he needs to be thankful that he is still living. And now he needs to open up his brain and think.

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 00:56:26 GMT

So I do realize I've kind of been absent from here for a few days, and I'm sorry.
Things are looking up for me though :)
Friday I went to the Senses Fail/Bleeding Through/Saosin show...and it was absolutely amazing. Nicole went with me...and I got to meet all the DD,G boys because one of them is her brother :)
Sara and I are still kinda fighting. She stole her mom's car the other night to drive to her douchebag exbf's house, mind you, Sara doesn't have a lisense. Yeahhhh. She got in big trouble....and she came to me looking for sympathy which I was not willing to give since she is stupid :)
Ummm so remember Brent? The guy that I thought was a completeeee asshole?
Well, he told me about a week ago that the reason he said he didn't want a girlfriend is because he has never had one, and he said I'm intimidating. Lol. I guess I am...you know with these good looks and all...JOKE! But anyways we started talking again.
Saturday night we went bowling together. I kicked his ass...yeah thats right..I'm good at bowling.
Then we drove toward the mountains and parked on this side road and laid on the hood of his car and looked at the stars and talked for like 2 hours.
We were driving back and he kept on looking over at me...and I said, "why do you keep on looking at me like that?" and he said..."because you're beautiful and amazing."
hehehe.
So then he was dropping me off and he asked me to be his girlfriend...we kissed :))))) and I said yes. So now I'm attatched. I'm about to head out to his house in a little while.
Ohhhh I'm so happy.
I'm sorry I havent been commenting. I still have a lot more to tell all of you.
I'll be commenting more, I promise.

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 19:49:46 GMT

Okay so my life has been kind of shitty lately.
Well, Brent and I made up...we still talk....just nothing past friends which is cool with me. I can't help flirt with him though...and he does the same. So we're flirting buddies :)
My grade in trig went down from a 60 to a 57 which sucks ass.
My ex boyfriend...the one that has been dragging my emotions out since we broke up in June...yeah, I hungout with him on Sunday which was DUMB...I had sex with him...which was DUMB...now he doesn't talk to me.
Sara(my best friend) got on my last nerve like seriously so I told her what was up. She wrote me a nice letter saying how sorry she is for everything...and she says she's trying to change, which I don't know about. Everything out of her mouth is a lie lately, so I don't know what to believe.
Senses fail is going to be here next friday and I'm going which is a good thing.
The reality of graduation is setting in right now....I don't know what to think?
I'm happy because I'm ready to move on in my life and leave highschool drama and everyone behind. But I'm scared that I'm going to have to face the real world :)
I do like my highschool, I have nothing against it. My highschool is one of those for "the arts" type of things....I have 4 art classes and 2 regular classes.
I love that about my school, i dont' have to take pointless classes that will not benefit me.
I take ceramics, photography, painting, and creative writing...then AP english and math.
Its pretty amazing I must say :)

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 19:47:42 GMT

I don't even know what to say or do.
Yesterday, my best friend told me she is pregnant, yes pregnant.
I can't condone her, because I love her.
I have to support her through this.
I love her. She means everything to me and more.
I'm going to support her, I have to, its my duty as a best friend.
But honestly, i'm speechless.

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 18:25:30 GMT

Okay so....
Yeah, you know how I like Brent or whatevs...
last night I was talking to him on the phone and he was acting kinda like he didn't want to talk to me or something...
So I asked him, "Do you not like me anymore or soemthing?"
And basically what I got in response was..."I like you....I want a physical connection with you....but I don't want a girlfriend."
So basically.....he's an asshole. Once again.....Jenn finds an asshole. w00t...go me.

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 01:30:11 GMT

Happy eat too much food day :)

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 05:44:07 GMT

Bold= true.

01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love psychodelic mushrooms.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I have loads of books.
06. I once slept in a toilet.
07. I love playing video games.
08. I adore marijuana.
09. I watch porn movies.
10. I watch them with my father.
11. I like sharks.
12. I love spiders, I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colours on their backs.
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair.
14. I like J. Bush.
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have jacuzzi and a Porsche.
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself.
20. I'm really really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret.
23. I hate snow.
24. I drink only milk.
25. Punk rock rules.
26. I hate Bill Gates!
27. I love Chinese food.
28. I would hate to be famous.
29. I am not a morning person.
30. I wear glasses/lenses.
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses.
32. I have potential.
33. I'm pure Japanese.
34. My legs are two different sizes/I refuse to believe my legs are identical.
35. I have a twin.
36. I wear a padded bra.
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing.
38. I'm left-handed.
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them.
40. I don't like horror movies.
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway.
42. People hate me usually.
43. I love pop music.
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight.
45. I hate parking fines.
46. I know national anthem of my country by heart.
47. I know more than two languages.
48. I spend too much time on the computer.
49. I often want to throw the computer out of a window.
50. I live on a ground floor.
51. I don't like chocolate.
52. I'd like to be more original.
53. I've lied.
54. Cocks are my favorite birds.
55. I want to conquer the world.
56. I wonder what happens when you die.
57. I've read all books about Harry Potter.
58. Eat your dog!
59. I love to exercise.
60. I hate chemistry with a passion.
61. I love to write.
62. I like changes. .
63. I hate going to class.
64. I am afraid to die.
65. I hate dish washing.
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly.
67. My nails are nine inch long.
68. My favorite color is black.
69. I like to sleep on the floor.
70. I am hopeless at cooking.
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little.
72. I should be doing something else rather than writing this.
73. I am online a lot, but not in MSN.
74. I hate government.
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
76. I'm too nice for my own good.
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can.
78. I don't trust newspapers.
79. I like debating.
80. I live in a vagon.
81. I clean my room once a month.
82. I'm scared of American fast food.
83. I have a third eye.
84. I love Mozambique.
85. I don't trust any religion.
86. I used to play with barbies because all the other girls were doing it.
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little.
88. I like listening to wind chimes.
89. I'm very disorganized.
90. My hair is long and straight.
91. I earn a lot.
92. I don't like spicy food.
93. I keep a diary.
94. I can't do cartwheels.
95. I am very lazy.
96. I'm sarcastic.
97. I think my hair is annoying.
98. I'm very sensitive.
99. I love being "ab-normal."
100. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue.

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 07:57:38 GMT

I hungout with Brent again tonight.
OHEMGEE! It was amazing :) We say Borat which was hilarious.
Ahhhh it was so great. Then we just hungout for like 3 hours...hehehehe.
He told me that I'm basically amazing and I make him happy...
And I was all blushing. Oh, its great graet great.

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:36:26 GMT

NORMA JEAN/BTBAM was amazing i must say.
really really really really really good.
ummm so yeah, the best friend situation....i dunno what to say.
but but but,
i talked to brent last night, and he told me that he has a crush on me and i told him i had a crush on him. .
he asked me to hangout tonight.
i'm so excited you don't even know

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 21:08:23 GMT

so yeah this is my best friend..
me= flattery is cheap.....................sara= elementmo17
Elementmo17: i love you jenni and don't want to lose you man, you're like my sister, i'm so sorry i've done this to you and I want to make it up to you, and I know that if you come tonight we'll have a blast together
FlatteryisCheap: not really
FlatteryisCheap: i don't wanna be around fucking nick
FlatteryisCheap: not at all
FlatteryisCheap: or you when you're around him
FlatteryisCheap: or you at all either
Elementmo17: dude please don't do this
Elementmo17: i know i've been a mega bitch, but I'm trying to turn it around
FlatteryisCheap: all i've done is try to help you, try to give you my point of view, try to give you my advice, try to be there for my best friend
FlatteryisCheap: did i get anything in return? nope, just a fucking attitude
Elementmo17: i know dude, I'm so sorry jenni, I just got wrapped up in my own problems
Elementmo17: and i should have been listening to you cause you do know whats best for me usually
FlatteryisCheap: like you know how AJ basically fucking raped me...well thats still affecting me to this day...but you don't even care enough about me to ask....no everything is about you
Elementmo17: I know dude
FlatteryisCheap: just go hangout with devonne or something goddamn...she seems like SUCH a fantastic friend
Elementmo17: I need to be there for you
FlatteryisCheap: and you never are
Elementmo17: i know but i'm going to try
Elementmo17: i really care about you jenni
FlatteryisCheap: i don't know whats happened to you for these past like month...
FlatteryisCheap: you're a fucking different person
FlatteryisCheap: and its so lame
Elementmo17: i know
Elementmo17: i just get so wrapped up in myself i can't see whats going on in other people's lifes, I'm sick of doing that, and I want to be there for my best friend
FlatteryisCheap: well then drop your fucking huge ass ego
Elementmo17: i will do
FlatteryisCheap: its sad when i talk to nicole more about my problems than you....cuz she actually asks me what i feel and how i feel and whats going on in my life...you haven't done that forever
Elementmo17: i know dude I'm sorry
Elementmo17: i want to know how you are feeling, I've just been thinking about this whole nick thing and i fucking hate it
Elementmo17: I want to know, and i'm sorry i haven't asked
FlatteryisCheap: yeah well i want you to think about something really quick alright...
FlatteryisCheap: think about the fact that when josh and i broke up....you were there for me and i thank you for that....but at the same time i was involved in your life because like a week and a half after we broke up you and nick got together right???? i was supportive of you, and was happy for you and all that jazz....i didn't get so fucking wrapped up in my own life and forgot about you did i?
Elementmo17: no you didn't Jenni and I'm happy that you were there for me
Elementmo17: I know its not an excuse I should have been there for you, and not such a bitch, I know that
FlatteryisCheap: yeah dude i dunno why i didn't just drop you when you were partying all the time....because it got better for like a few days and then you turned right back into the same bitch
Elementmo17: i know dude
Elementmo17: I promise to be the same old me again
FlatteryisCheap: thats what you said last time dude

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 18:47:11 GMT

I do realize that I haven't been updating quite as much.
Ummm well good news :) you know that boy that i like? Brent...well, we hungout on Saturday night and saw Harsh Times. It was such a crazy movie, it took me a whole day to figure out if I liked it or not and end result being...I liked it.
Ummm yeah. I'm hanging out with him again this weekend and I'm excited.
I'm going to Norma Jean/FBTMOF/Between the buried and me tonight...w00t i'm excited.
ummmm, my best friend and I are fighting again.
Okay so here's the run-down...
She ditches class all the time. I don't know if everyone's school does this, but ours does...if you ditch they make an automated phone call to your parents...
So she erased all the messages from the school, and lied to her mom when the school sent her mom emails.
I tried every day to get her to stop ditching...EVERY FUCKING DAY
and
Her mom got a letter in the mail that said that she had 27 absenses already and if she missed so many more days she would be expelled and unable to graduate.
So...she was trying to get me to give her sympathy because now her mom wants to send her to live with her dad....
and i'm not going to give her sympathy...she knows that she shouldn't have fucking done that to begin with right?
So the other night I was at her house, and she got on her parent portal(this thing online where you can check your grades and such)
and all the unexcused absenses show up red on the schedule thing...and i swear almost that whole page was red.
I was like, "HOLY SHIT YO" and she was like, "Jenn I know already...So shut your fucking mouth okay?"
so i got up and just walked out and she followed me out to my car and was like, "don't be mad" and i just drove off.
I can't take her shit anymore.
I'm fucking fed up with her.

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 18:21:55 GMT

yes i do realize that I haven't updated in like a year...haha no.
So Thursday night I volunteered at this art show at my school. All of the proceeds went to the Arvada Food Bank to help underpriveleged people.
Well, my photography teacher wanted to put one of my photos in it...I said sure why not.
Everything was "you price it and ask the artist". So this lady was like..."i want that. $40?" I was like, "$40 for that? are you kidding me?" and she told me she loved it and she wanted me to sign it so i did.
Yay, i sold my first photo :)
Yeah, that art show was fun.
Yesterday after school I stayed in the dark room from 2:30-4:30, god it was great. I was all by myself :)
I developed so many pictures and then I left them in my friend's car...ya i'm so smart.
Well, last night I went to a concert wooooooot. THURSDAY/RISE AGAINST.
omg it was so amazing....ahhhhh thursday is one of my favorite bands :) I got a thursday hoodie and its amazing and warm and yeah.
There was this guy in the pit though that seriously needed to have his balls chopped off.....He was grabbing people by their shirts and throwing them down. And he threw this one guy down and the guy knocked over a girl(not his fault obviously) and the girl didn't get up...so her friends tried to pick her up and she was crying and she was seriously hurt. Annnnd then he got his ass beat down and I laughed so hard.

Well, my scanner isn't working....so i had to take a picture of a picture, but i really wanted to show you all this photograph because i truly think its amazing...and yes i did take it...

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 03:15:12 GMT

hahaha. caleb(my friend since 9th grade) yes, he cracks me up.
ROckinpunker221: lol
FlatteryisCheap: if a guy likes you WHY CAN'T THEY JUST TELL YOU
FlatteryisCheap: GAHHHH
ROckinpunker221: weve been over this
ROckinpunker221: ITS BRENT
FlatteryisCheap: i know but damn.
FlatteryisCheap: i've given up hope
ROckinpunker221: its been what 2-3 days?
FlatteryisCheap: yeah so
FlatteryisCheap: i don't wanna have to be like, "so brent...yeah i like you fuck face"
ROckinpunker221: lol
ROckinpunker221: ask him to chill?
FlatteryisCheap: well what if he doesn't like me and i freak him out??
ROckinpunker221: but if you guys just hang out
ROckinpunker221: then who cares?
FlatteryisCheap: me
ROckinpunker221: and who cares if you freak him out
ROckinpunker221: this is not middle school anymore
FlatteryisCheap: this is true caleb.
FlatteryisCheap: gosh i'm such a little girl ahhh

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 02:24:02 GMT

I honestly feel like ripping my hair out I'm so frustrated with life.
I don't know what to do with my best friend...I'm trying to help but I don't think its doing anything.
She keeps on running back to this asshole, and then crying when he doesn't want her around.

On the other hand, I really have a crush on a boy. Hiiiissss name is brent.
He sits behind me in Econ and he's oh so adorable.
I think he likes me too.
We have a mutual friend, so I asked him(caleb, the mutual friend) if he thinks brent likes me.
And he was like, "yeah, he asked me for your screen name and wouldn't tell me why and you play cs i mean come on now."
haha yeah.
I dunno what to do.
Should I tell him?

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 02:23:40 GMT

My weekend was good, hope yours was too :)
Okay so, update on my best friend(if you don't remember the last thing I said read my last entry):
Thursday night Sara(my bestest friend) went to her boyfriend's house to "talk" about everything thats been going on.
I picked her up Friday morning for school, and she walks out her front door in tears.
The frist thing she said was, "My heart was ripped out of my chest last night. He broke up with me. "
I felt so bad I didn't know what to say...so I was like, "Well dude, I'm sure you don't want to go to school. Do you want to ditch first hour and go to breakfast?"
So we went out to eat I paid :)
Then Friday night we got stoned so she could forget all her problems.
Then Saturday we hungout with her mom(her mom is so cool you don't even know). And her mom told us her insight on the "Nick and Sara" situation.
Saturday night I dropped Sara off at Nick's house so they could "talk" again...
Last night at 1:45 AM she calls me crying.."he doesn't want to get back together, I dunno what to do."
So I talked to her for a few hours and I tried to get her to calm down. She finally did, she fell asleep on the phone which is good since she hasn't slept at all.
I went and picked her up today and took her up to Boulder(only the coolest place in Colorado). We walked up and down Pearl St.(yes, its an outside mall) and we ate at Illegal Pete's as she told me everything that happened between her and Nick the night before.
Then we went back to her house and she got online..and nick IMed her and he was all like, "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "God i'm glad you're having such a good time without me"....and she is gonna fall back into his trap and I know it...its the same thing my ex did...
I told her he is a controlling freak he is pulling the..."i don't want you but no one else can have you".
She burst into tears again...god I felt so bad.
I tried to be such a good friend this weekend. I really tried. I think I did a good job.
And by the way...she hasn't touched alcohol in like 4 days or soemthing. I'm so proud of her.
Good night. :)

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 23:57:36 GMT

So, my best friend and I are going through some very complicated times right now.
She started hanging out with this other girl(and no i'm not jealous if thats what you're thinking).
But she started ditching class to go drink, and she ditched me, Nick(her boyfriend and one of my best friends) and my other friend this whole weekend to go party.
We have ALL noticed a change in her attitude. She is...i hate to say it...but a bitch basically.
Well, Tuesday after the almost raping incident....i caller her and told her what happened and she was like, "dude that sucks".
So, basically tuesday was my breaking point...
Today I got so fed up with her that I started yelling at her and telling her how she's been acting.
It was a grueling two hour process....
Basically she told me that she thinks she is an alcoholic and shit like that.
So I told her as much as I love her if she doesn't change her attitude toward me I'm gone. And her boyfriend just told me the same thing over AIM...
xxsavegrace = nick and flatteryischeap = me
XxSaveGrace: i hope
FlatteryisCheap: me too
FlatteryisCheap: so yeah nick, seriously, if she doesn't change in like a week...i'm gone.
FlatteryisCheap: if she touches alcohol...i'm seriously gone
XxSaveGrace: me 2
XxSaveGrace: im tired of her treating us like we are nothing when we have been there for her forever
FlatteryisCheap: ecspecially me...i've been her BEST friend for TEN years.
FlatteryisCheap: and i told her that
XxSaveGrace: i know

so yeah. I told her whenever she feels like drinking that she needs to call me so I can tell her how bad she'll fuck her relationships up.
So yeah.
I dunno, I hope she changes back to her old self. I miss her :(

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 22:43:51 GMT

how are you feeling today?
Medium
(incubus)

will you get far in life?
get back
(the beatles)

how do your friends see you?
you're cute when you scream
(senses fail)

will you get married?
Tell me baby
(rhcp)

what is your best friend's theme song?
Montana
(rocky votolato)

what is the story of ur life?
The recluse
(cursive)

what was primary school like?
If I could see
(haste the day)

how will you get on with life?
Tears don't fall
(bullet for my valentine)

what is the best thing about your friends?
the only medicine
(scary kids scaring kids)

what is in stall for this weekend?
between rupture and rapture
(thursday)

what song describes you?
I must be emo
(hollywood undead)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

to describe your grandparents?
for a lifetime
(haste the day)

how is your life going?
Beauty is in its embrace
(anatomy of a ghost).

how does the world see you?
self conclusion
(the spill canvas)

will you have a happy life?
slow song
(senses fail)
>????

what does your friend really think of you?
Giving it away
(mae)

do people secretly lust after you?
shooting stars
(cauterize)

how can i make myself happy?
smoke two joints
(sublime)
haha great.

what should you do with your life?
Work lies sex love fear hate friendship
(gatsbys american dream)

will you ever have children?
asleep in the chapel
(thursday)

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 23:10:19 GMT

happy halloween yo

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 21:56:12 GMT

So today was good.
I went to court for my ticket (speeding in a school zone...6 pts.)
It was scary.
I got in there and the case in front of me was two 14 year old girls that stole from the mall....
Then it was my turn and the DA was really nice to me, he dropped my ticket from 6 to 3 points and now I have to take a driving class.
I GET TO KEEP MY LISCENSE!
Yeah dude, and it was so weird, after I talked with the DA, I had to go and talk with the judge...
He was like..."How do you plead to the charges against you?"
I was thinking like...damn, i feel like such a criminal. I can't imagine going up against a judge if I committed murder or something.
After I said, "Guilty" I was free.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 02:34:28 GMT

I was bored during Ceramics today...so I wrote this...

We've been higher than the six clouds that formed today,
and the pink moon we've tried not to set ablaze.
Have you ever looked at this world?
Death. Disease. Rape. Love. Pain. Deciet.
So much more to name.
We're falling apart like your favorite jeans.
Ripping and tearing until we are nothing but a seam: where we started.
I'm sick from the pollution,
but I'm driving, I'm adding, I'm harming myself
with a beast of good times,
and long drives home.
Turn down the volume,
I can't think fast enough.
My pencil cannot drag out these thoughts,
they run faster than you did when you were chased by a knife to find comfort in love,
Aren't you glad he was standing there on your porch with a box full of cigarettes?
Lets light them all.
He gave you a glare, and just as you walked away with your burning addiction,
I saved you from him and took you home to drink cokes and get away from it all.
Nothing is like it used to be.
I haven't walked through the park in months,
but if I did I'd walk myself to the edge of the water and look down.
There I am. Myself: I thought how sad it must be that I'm alone.
Why won't you save me from myself and help me drive home through my tears, screaming at you in vain?
I've been alive to be alone,
but let's live in vanity, together.
You've driven me in circles now,
But I'd rather box you in the ring,
Buff up tough guy, I'm ready,
but then the world would watch, and I'd be showing them something they've seen before: a victory versus defeat.
Pain would shine through your eyes, and I'd look at you,
and you'd gain a smile like flowers and balloons,
I've seen nothing so fake, so go home.
Search for something to sing to, and cry yourself to sleep.
You'll think of me and I'll think of you,
as we dream together in this vanity: its a sexual sin,
but i'm not there anymore.
So wake up, buttercup, and go wash yourself with water, and yawn your way into work,
I'll see you tonight,
but we mustn't dream together, for I cannot stand you to take me any longer.